Staying Focused on the Positive in Tough Times

Winding Road Ahead

 

 

 

Think about it. . .

 

When in your life have you felt the most:

Confident        Energized         Creative          Challenged               Focused               

Positive           In Control        Motivated        Productive               Interested

Forward Thinking   ?????

 

 

When in your life have you felt the most:

Overwhelmed            Hopeless             Depleted                Negative             Scattered

Disinterested              Stuck                  Helpless                 Bored                 Unmotivated

Non-productive    ?????

 

How can you create more of the first set of feelings even when things are not as you had planned?  If we focus on and practice the kinds of things that bring the positive feelings, do we not create more of those good feelings?

 

When we focus on our strengths, and take action to use them, do we not expand those strengths and the positive feelings that go along with them?

 

 A Precious Human Life by the Dalai Lama is something I will read over and paste up at work to remind myself to focus on the life I have and all the wonderful opportunites I have each day to enjoy it.

 

Today I am fortunate to have woken up.
I am alive; I have a precious human life.
I am not going to waste it.
 
I am going to use all my energies to develop myself,
To expand my heart out to others,
To achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings.
 
I am going to have kind thoughts towards others.
I am not going to get angry,
Or think badly about others.
I am going to benefit others as much as I can.

                                  —Dalai Lama

 Gail Brokaw

http://www.embracethepossibility.org/Newsletters.html

 

 

 

 

 

Sacred Life Sunday – Places that Scare you

There are plenty of things that could scare me these days.  Certain politicians use fear as a way to hold people to what is familiar and perceived as safe.  They know the power of fear and it’s ability to control people’s actions.  This is the month of Halloween (scary monsters) and politics (scary ideas) and economics (scary thoughts of the future).   Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  He also said, “Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”  That may be easier to say if you have enough to live on, but I personally want to keep focused on ways to continually grow emotionally and mentally to enable myself to continue the creative effort of living a joyful and satisfying life, no matter how much money I have or don’t have.  I know it’s a challenge.

I’ve been reading The Places that Scare you; A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times, by Pema Chodron.  She reminds us that Buddha taught three principal characteristics of human existence: impermanence, egolessness, and suffering or dissatisfaction.  Recognizing that these are inescapable parts of life will help us relax with things as they are. 

1. Life, people and situations are unpredictable,
2. life does have it’s ups and downs, and
3. everybody knows the pain of getting what they don’t want. 
It’s just life.  We increase our suffering when we try to make the impermanent, permanent. 

Let’s don’t bow to the pressures of the day that shout at us to be afraid of change.  Change is life. 
The question is how do we take that change, learn from it and feel stronger because of it?  
How can we become creative in the midst of that change? 
How can we create something positive from the scary details of the day?  

I will try accepting things I cannot change and focus on the things that I can do to make my world a more positive place to be.  That’s really all I can do.  

I love this quote.  “Everyone is an explorer.  How could you possibly live your life looking at a door and not open it?” –Robert D Ballard   So go ahead, feel the fear and do it anyway;  accept what is, take a chance, and make a change.           

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

The Times They Are a Changing

The old message The Times They Are a Changing rings so true today.  Democrats and Republicans, Obama and McCain, Biden and Palin are all talking a good talk about making changes.  And lord knows we certainly need to make changes in this society whether it is in our politics, our global environment, our education system, our healthcare system or individual rights.  This song sung by Peter, Paul and Mary from the past is as relevant as it was when it was first produced and gives me goose bumps just listening to the strength and passion in their voices.  This is one way that they try to inspire others to make positive changes in our world.  It reminds me that I need to continue in my own way to make changes as an individual to make my little corner of the world a better place.  It’s not always an easy task, but it’s something I’m committed to.  We can hope that our political leaders will make good choices that will affect appropriate change, but it’s really up to each one of us to make some change, in whatever way we can, at the individual level to make our world a better place. 

Simple everyday ways to make change are there at your fingertips. 

Support a friend or coworker that needs encouragement.
Make your employer aware of areas that need improvement and do what you can to bring about that needed change.
Do what you can to make your home more environmentally friendly.
Get involved in local politics.
Help build or improve community resources.
Create artwork or music to open people’s minds and start a new thought process.
Educate your children to think creatively to solve problems rather than just wait for adults to give them the answers.

What else can you think of that might inspire the rest of us to take action to create positive change in our lives and in our community?

http://www.wecansolveit.org/    We Can Solve the Environmental Problems

http://www.usaweekend.com/diffday/index.html   October 25 is Make a Difference Day

http://www.voa.org/   Volunteers of America

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org
You CAN make the change you want in your life!

Independent Woman – Sacred Life Sunday

Years ago I sat in my therapist’s office and said “I want to be independent; I just don’t want to do it alone.”  The minute it came out of my mouth we both laughed and I saw him write it in his notebook.  Years later at a talk he was giving regarding relationships, he used that quote which gave the audience a chuckle. 

I was just leaving a long-term marriage and was headed out on my own with two daughters who were not particularly happy with me for making this huge and unwelcome change to their lives.  I didn’t know exactly where I was headed except toward independence.  I needed to know I could take care of myself first, and then to be open to a relationship that would feel more equal and alive.  “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” That quote of Anais Nin’s really said it all for me at that time.  I’d never lived alone or alone with children, except when my husband had been stationed on a ship for several weeks at a time.  I had little confidence that I could support myself and my daughters, but the fear of staying in an unhealthy relationship was greater than the fear of moving towards the unknown but more independent life.   We three girls went through some very rough times but I feel very fortunate to have two beautiful successful daughters to share life with as adults now.

Second Journey -   I want to be independent; I just don’t want to do it alone.  I’m at a different stage of my life, in a committed loving relationship and looking toward retirement in a few years.  I want to remain independent, vibrant, life loving and satisfied with what I’m doing with my life.  This time in my life is an opportunity to look at where I’ve been, what I’m doing now, and how I want to fashion my future so that I can continue to grow, change and appreciate life.  I have to admit that I’m realizing that my reaction to talking about positive change and adjusting to real change are not always met with the same frame of mind or open arms.  But I am determined not to be a dinosaur and I want to keep challenging myself to keep growing and taking chances.  Independent doesn’t mean alone, it means being able to make decisions, be happy with myself but also to be interdependent with others for support, friendships, and challenges.  So, see, I can be independent and yet not do it alone. 

Gail Brokaw, MA, CC
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

You CAN create the change you want in your life!

The Second Journey – Sacred Life Sunday

 

Coffee and Joan

I sat in my backyard this morning enjoying my coffee and reading Joan Anderson’s “The Second Journey, The Road Back to Yourself.”  She references her conversations with Joan Erikson (Erik Erikson’s wife),  regarding Erik Erikson’s Stages of Development.  Erikson created the Life Cycle chart indicating each phase of a person’s life when they either learn or don’t learn crucial things that will help them move through life in a productive and happy way.  Joan Erikson added to the chart by indicating a strength to be gained during each phase.  Joan Anderson realized that we don’t just learn and gain a strength and then move on to the next phase.  We can continually improve upon the strengths after we gain them.  Life is not just a straight line forward.  It is a loop-de-loop, back tracking, do-it-again-and-again-to-get-it-better kind of life.  We have the ability, if we choose, to improve and grow and become more of the person we want to be during our lifetime.   And as Joan’s chapter is titled, Miles to Go, I know I have miles and miles to go to become the person I want to be.  Change and growth are what makes life interesting, challenging and rewarding for me though they can be scary and uncomfortable along the way.  I tend to start anew frequently, sometimes with an end in mind, but usually just a direction to move toward.  I love the forks in the road along the way that provide opportunities for new adventures.

What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
       The end is where we start from.
                 –T. S. Eliot

A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent on arriving.
           –Tao Te Ching

 

Gail Brokaw, MA, Life Coach
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

Freedom – Sacred Life Sunday

As I was reading BlogHer news this morning I came across a website that I want to share with you.  The Olympic Games have continued to keep Tibet in the minds of the people around the world.  Despite some of the things I’m not happy about in regards to the United States Government, I do cherish my freedom.  Others in this world are not as fortunate.  Join the Light Protest to keep Tibet on the minds of the world in an effort to help regain their freedom.  http://www.candle4tibet.org/en/  (Though the word PROTEST has a negative connotation in that it is in opposition to something, and I prefer the idea of putting out to the universe a positive thought, I join this organization’s idea to create a greater consciousness about a people that need the world’s attention and help.)

“We believe in the tremendous power of the people when uniting together to make a true change in the world.”  –www.candle4tibet.org

What is a LIGHT PROTEST?

A light protest is similar to a normal protest (the kind you hear about in the news or in the papers) but with several main differences:

• A light protest unites millions of people around the world.
• A light protest invites people to take a simple act on a specific moment in time, for a single goal.
• A light protest is a new global medium which enhances the power of one person to make a stand.
• A light protest will always fight for a noble cause, such as human rights, freedom of choice, thought, belief and so on.
• A light protest is non-profit, and non-violent!

 Remember, that a light protest depends on each and every one of us making our stand on the same day, and inviting other people & friends to join. 

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

You CAN create the change you want in your life!