Read, Create, Explore, Expand

See the power of art to transform people, cultures and thought processes.  How inspiring is this for the start of a New Year? 

Memories Made Tangible

I received a newsletter recently from one of my favorite life coaches, Jennifer Louden .  She talked about her friends who just lost their home to fire in Santa Barbara and that the first thing her friend thought of after she heard her house was burned to the ground, was gratitude.  She was so grateful that her family was safe and that her friends were offering her support and assistance.  What a great way to deal with a hardship.  Instead of dwelling on the loss, she focused on what she did have and how lucky she was to have it. 

Jennifer writes, “If you’ve ever lost things to a disaster or accident, you know it’s not about the stuff, it’s about memories made tangible: the plaster handprint your child made in kindergarten, the picture of your father right before he died smiling at the camera with an impish grin of gratitude, it’s the dusty teapot from your honeymoon in Ireland.”

My response to Jennifer follows:

Jennifer,   I loved your newsletter as it touched a cord in my emotions.  It is so true that “it’s about memories made tangible”.   After my parents died and I watched the house I was raised in  be torn down, I felt the loss like the loss of a loved one.  As brick and wood came down, I thought of the family picnics in the back yard on long summer nights, the measuring place on the back door edging where grandkids could hardly wait to pass up their short grandma.  I remembered bringing both my babies to visit their grandparents and play in the yard I played in.  They flew kites in the field next door with their grandpa. I remembered the fireplace my father kept fueled in winter and the one special stormy day I came home from school to find him home with Mom ready to enjoy tea and cookies with my sister and me.  I could go on and on. . .    Anyway, after the devastation, I hope your friends can begin to start reminiscing and reminding each other of those special things and memories and then write them down before they start to forget the details.  They sound like very special people indeed.  Loved the visual of grabbing the duck broth!   Thank you for sharing and reminding us of what’s really important and about the challenges and creativity involved in transitions.  Please send my best wishes to your friends. Gail Brokaw http://www.embracethepossibility.org You can check out Jennifer’s blog at http://www.comfortqueen.com/  She is a wonderfully talented writer.

Daily Conversations Appreciated

I’ve had some interesting conversations with a coworker this last week. 

*  “We are each special – just like everyone else. . . no, really. . .it’s a good thing.”

*  Loss and grieving and how it affects each of us differently, as she talked about a child who just lost his father to suicide.

*  The little things in life that bring us joy, like a parking spot close to the office after a year of having to walk from a block away.

*  How the loss of a parent early in life can affect a person’s personality, outlook and expectations throughout their life.

*  Similarities and differences in growing up in a Mexican, Black or White blue collar family – - Who’s happier the blue collar family or the CEO of a corporation?  Then there were rememberings of our blue collar families, the closeness we felt, the memories of childhood get-togethers and the warmth.

*  Who wears yellow to a memorial service? 
There are cultural differences that require understanding.

We’ve annoyed each other, laughed with each other, shared intimate details of loss and sorrow and joy, and learned from each other.  It was a good week.

And I received a Chinese fortune cookie note “A good position and a comfortable salary will be yours”  It’s now taped on my computer. . .

 

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

Synchronicity and Remembrance

Mirror Lake, Chugiak, Alaska

Last weekend I got an impulse to start checking the internet for a place and people I knew 30 years ago.    I was married to a Coast Guard man at the time and he was stationed in Anchorage, Alaska.  We bought a fixer-upper home in a small town named Chugiak, Alaska.  I spent several hours glued to my computer screen as I found several links to articles that mentioned two women who I knew there.  I was remembering how much I appreciated the invitations to join their women’s group.  I remembered the older couple up the hill who had lived there for years who included us in the neighborhood potluck and welcomed us into the neighborhood.  I was 30 and had two young daughters.  I was isolated and in an old, very run down house that needed more energy and work than we had in us.  I’ve never been so exhausted at the end of each day as we rebuilt this little building back to a livable situation.  It was a humbling experience (the first time I was ashamed of the house I lived in) and very difficult at times (frozen car locks, shoveling out before we could leave the driveway, sliding to a stop in the car when the ice was thick on the roads) but the beauty of the people and the environment was at times so wonderful that it was unbelievable.   I rediscovered the old values of neighbor helping neighbor, creating family where there was none, and involvement in the community. 

So,  I found a link on the internet that mentioned one woman I was searching for.  Her son had just married in Hawaii last year.   And would you believe that he lives in my town in California?!   Talk about a small world.   So I called and left a message that I was trying to get in contact with his Mom.  Then Presto!  She called me a few days later.   And she is coming to California next month to see her son.  We’ll have lunch or coffee and talk.   That is synchronicity.  I am grateful for the opportunity to see her again and to thank her in person for including me in her social network.    Isn’t the internet wonderful?

 

See some of my photos from Chugiak at http://www.embracethepossibility.org/Chugiak.html

French Crepes and artwork in San Francisco

My daughter and I found, completely by accident, this most wonderful crepe restaurant in San Francisco.  The restaurant is called Ti Couz.  The crepes are the best I have ever tasted!  They will spoil you to any other crepe.  (hint:  There is butter involved.)  While there I bought a t-shirt with a wonderful piece of artwork on it by French artist Armelle Gourvennec.  Turn on your speaker for the music and Click on the colored drawings of her website to view wonderful imaginative paintings like this.

Three Women by Armelle Gourvennec

About the restaurant. . .

“This Mission staple has three whitewashed, stucco-and-wood dining rooms decorated with photos from old Brittany. There’s seating at serpentine counters, as well as tables. French expatriate and owner Sylvie Lemer bases her menu on classic Breton recipes. Thin buckwheat crepes are folded in big flat squares around dozens of fillings, from a simple butter and cheese to ham and Gruyere. Sweet crepes include fruit, sauce and ice cream combinations.”  –CitySearch staff   
I suggest that two people order one savory and one dessert crepe to share, as they are filling.  Have fun! 

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

Sacred Life Sunday – Patience

Chinese symbol for Patience

 

 

 

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’  Then a voice says to me.  ‘This is going to take more than one night.’ ” –Charlie Brown

Patience has been eluding me lately.  Try as I may, the anxiety and frustration of some days lead me to a place I’m not feeling good about.  So I guess I need to be more patient with myself in finding patience with the world around me. 

 As James and Constance Messina say in their writing about patience, “Wake up to the realities of life around you.  Everyone with whom you come in contact is busy working through their own struggles, weaknesses, setbacks, relapses, crises, and obstacles to their personal growth and recovery.  All of us are on the path to personal growth.  Their is no one exempt from this journey.  It takes a lifetime to complete.“

Note to self:

This week I will focus on breathing in relaxation, breathing out tension and frustration.  I will breathe in tolerance and understanding and breathe out anger and impatience.

This week I will take one day at a time and make each day more positive by finding at least five things each day which can bring peace, joy and humor into my life.

This week I will look for solutions, remind myself to accept what is, and work toward the goals I have set for myself which always makes me feel more positive and hopeful.  Refocus will be my word for the week.

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”
  - Maya Angelou

“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. “
  - Unknown

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstance, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or break a company…a church…a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.  I am convinced that life is 10%  what happened to me and 90% of how I react to it.  And so it is with you…we are in charge of our Attitudes.”  –Charles R Swindoll

This is my goal for the week. 

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

The Times They Are a Changing

The old message The Times They Are a Changing rings so true today.  Democrats and Republicans, Obama and McCain, Biden and Palin are all talking a good talk about making changes.  And lord knows we certainly need to make changes in this society whether it is in our politics, our global environment, our education system, our healthcare system or individual rights.  This song sung by Peter, Paul and Mary from the past is as relevant as it was when it was first produced and gives me goose bumps just listening to the strength and passion in their voices.  This is one way that they try to inspire others to make positive changes in our world.  It reminds me that I need to continue in my own way to make changes as an individual to make my little corner of the world a better place.  It’s not always an easy task, but it’s something I’m committed to.  We can hope that our political leaders will make good choices that will affect appropriate change, but it’s really up to each one of us to make some change, in whatever way we can, at the individual level to make our world a better place. 

Simple everyday ways to make change are there at your fingertips. 

Support a friend or coworker that needs encouragement.
Make your employer aware of areas that need improvement and do what you can to bring about that needed change.
Do what you can to make your home more environmentally friendly.
Get involved in local politics.
Help build or improve community resources.
Create artwork or music to open people’s minds and start a new thought process.
Educate your children to think creatively to solve problems rather than just wait for adults to give them the answers.

What else can you think of that might inspire the rest of us to take action to create positive change in our lives and in our community?

http://www.wecansolveit.org/    We Can Solve the Environmental Problems

http://www.usaweekend.com/diffday/index.html   October 25 is Make a Difference Day

http://www.voa.org/   Volunteers of America

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org
You CAN make the change you want in your life!

Celtic Cross and Life Balance- Sacred Life Sunday

Island of Iona, Scotland

 

Iona is a beautiful, small speck of an Island off the western coast of Scotland 3 miles long and 1 mile wide with 2000 acres in total area. http://www.isle-of-iona.com/  This is where Joan Anderson traveled to connect with the spirit and her heritage.  While there, she visits an artist in his studio.  He is hand carving Celtic Crosses.  She asks him about the significance of the circle in the center of all the Celtic Crosses.  He responds that the circle is where all opposites come together.  It is a stabilizing element for the cross.  He further explains that another thought some have is that the circle “represents mother – the woman – who holds it all together.”  I, like Joan, am interested in crosses, not for their religious significance but for the beauty of the art that can be a representation of crossroads.  Haven’t we all been at a crossroad at least a few times in our lives?  We have had times to make choices, set a new direction or take advantage of a new opportunity.  I see the circle in the cross as a representation of something that holds our life together as we take different directions and new paths.  The circle not only holds together, but brings together different elements in our life.  It’s a powerful symbol.

For me, the four main directions that need connecting and balancing are relationships (family and friends), work, spirit and creativity.  I need to remain aware of each point in my cross (life) and find time to connect each to the other and continue to maintain the balance that feels good to me. 

What is the crossroad you are facing right now?  What helps you hold the major points of your life together? 

Gail Brokaw, MA, CC
http://www.embracethepossibility.org
lifecoach@embracethepossibility.org
You CAN make the change you want in your life!

 

Independent Woman – Sacred Life Sunday

Years ago I sat in my therapist’s office and said “I want to be independent; I just don’t want to do it alone.”  The minute it came out of my mouth we both laughed and I saw him write it in his notebook.  Years later at a talk he was giving regarding relationships, he used that quote which gave the audience a chuckle. 

I was just leaving a long-term marriage and was headed out on my own with two daughters who were not particularly happy with me for making this huge and unwelcome change to their lives.  I didn’t know exactly where I was headed except toward independence.  I needed to know I could take care of myself first, and then to be open to a relationship that would feel more equal and alive.  “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” That quote of Anais Nin’s really said it all for me at that time.  I’d never lived alone or alone with children, except when my husband had been stationed on a ship for several weeks at a time.  I had little confidence that I could support myself and my daughters, but the fear of staying in an unhealthy relationship was greater than the fear of moving towards the unknown but more independent life.   We three girls went through some very rough times but I feel very fortunate to have two beautiful successful daughters to share life with as adults now.

Second Journey -   I want to be independent; I just don’t want to do it alone.  I’m at a different stage of my life, in a committed loving relationship and looking toward retirement in a few years.  I want to remain independent, vibrant, life loving and satisfied with what I’m doing with my life.  This time in my life is an opportunity to look at where I’ve been, what I’m doing now, and how I want to fashion my future so that I can continue to grow, change and appreciate life.  I have to admit that I’m realizing that my reaction to talking about positive change and adjusting to real change are not always met with the same frame of mind or open arms.  But I am determined not to be a dinosaur and I want to keep challenging myself to keep growing and taking chances.  Independent doesn’t mean alone, it means being able to make decisions, be happy with myself but also to be interdependent with others for support, friendships, and challenges.  So, see, I can be independent and yet not do it alone. 

Gail Brokaw, MA, CC
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

You CAN create the change you want in your life!

The Second Journey – Sacred Life Sunday

 

Coffee and Joan

I sat in my backyard this morning enjoying my coffee and reading Joan Anderson’s “The Second Journey, The Road Back to Yourself.”  She references her conversations with Joan Erikson (Erik Erikson’s wife),  regarding Erik Erikson’s Stages of Development.  Erikson created the Life Cycle chart indicating each phase of a person’s life when they either learn or don’t learn crucial things that will help them move through life in a productive and happy way.  Joan Erikson added to the chart by indicating a strength to be gained during each phase.  Joan Anderson realized that we don’t just learn and gain a strength and then move on to the next phase.  We can continually improve upon the strengths after we gain them.  Life is not just a straight line forward.  It is a loop-de-loop, back tracking, do-it-again-and-again-to-get-it-better kind of life.  We have the ability, if we choose, to improve and grow and become more of the person we want to be during our lifetime.   And as Joan’s chapter is titled, Miles to Go, I know I have miles and miles to go to become the person I want to be.  Change and growth are what makes life interesting, challenging and rewarding for me though they can be scary and uncomfortable along the way.  I tend to start anew frequently, sometimes with an end in mind, but usually just a direction to move toward.  I love the forks in the road along the way that provide opportunities for new adventures.

What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
       The end is where we start from.
                 –T. S. Eliot

A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent on arriving.
           –Tao Te Ching

 

Gail Brokaw, MA, Life Coach
http://www.embracethepossibility.org