Memories Made Tangible

I received a newsletter recently from one of my favorite life coaches, Jennifer Louden .  She talked about her friends who just lost their home to fire in Santa Barbara and that the first thing her friend thought of after she heard her house was burned to the ground, was gratitude.  She was so grateful that her family was safe and that her friends were offering her support and assistance.  What a great way to deal with a hardship.  Instead of dwelling on the loss, she focused on what she did have and how lucky she was to have it. 

Jennifer writes, “If you’ve ever lost things to a disaster or accident, you know it’s not about the stuff, it’s about memories made tangible: the plaster handprint your child made in kindergarten, the picture of your father right before he died smiling at the camera with an impish grin of gratitude, it’s the dusty teapot from your honeymoon in Ireland.”

My response to Jennifer follows:

Jennifer,   I loved your newsletter as it touched a cord in my emotions.  It is so true that “it’s about memories made tangible”.   After my parents died and I watched the house I was raised in  be torn down, I felt the loss like the loss of a loved one.  As brick and wood came down, I thought of the family picnics in the back yard on long summer nights, the measuring place on the back door edging where grandkids could hardly wait to pass up their short grandma.  I remembered bringing both my babies to visit their grandparents and play in the yard I played in.  They flew kites in the field next door with their grandpa. I remembered the fireplace my father kept fueled in winter and the one special stormy day I came home from school to find him home with Mom ready to enjoy tea and cookies with my sister and me.  I could go on and on. . .    Anyway, after the devastation, I hope your friends can begin to start reminiscing and reminding each other of those special things and memories and then write them down before they start to forget the details.  They sound like very special people indeed.  Loved the visual of grabbing the duck broth!   Thank you for sharing and reminding us of what’s really important and about the challenges and creativity involved in transitions.  Please send my best wishes to your friends. Gail Brokaw http://www.embracethepossibility.org You can check out Jennifer’s blog at http://www.comfortqueen.com/  She is a wonderfully talented writer.

The Cycle of Turning

Mid air sculpture by Andy Goldsworthy

As I watched the video, Rivers and Tides, about Andy Goldsworthy, an environmental artist, philosopher, and architect,  I felt calm and contemplative.  His work is meditative and gives me so much to think about.  The following link shows him completing one of his works on a beach and we watch the tide come in and gently lift the sculpture off the rocks and into the water.  The water gently pulls and pushes and slowly the sculpture begins to change and become something different.  It doesn’t fight against the change. (I need to remember that in my life.)  His artwork is as impermanent as life.  Andy calls it the “cycle of turning”.  Here is a excerpt of the video which I highly recommend if you are in the mood for something calming and thought provoking.  Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBcdL8uO71E

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossiblity.org  (join my monthly newsletter)

How to Cook Your Life

 

The video, How to Cook Your Life is comtemplative and inspirational. I find myself wanting to make bread now and to slow my thinking down and let things rise from my mind as the bread dough rises after being fed with all the ingredients it needs to nourish our bodies.
Zen priest and chef, Edward Brown talks about life through food preparation. As with everything we do, we can look at the way we prepare our food and eat our food and compare our actions in the kitchen with the actions we usually take in our lives. This documentary visits Tassajara Zen Center, Green Gulch Zen Center, and the San Francisco Zen Center as it instructs and inspires us to live our lives consciously and with purpose.
Edward Brown looks at the metal tea pots with dents and creases and likens them to our lives with wrinkles and troubles. They are what makes us who we are and we continue to be useful with any and all of our dings and dents. That’s a good, good thought to keep in mind as I age!  Sometimes I think I need to be that perfect shining tea pot that performs as if new all the time.  I have to remember patience and forgiveness, mindfulness and appreciation as I move through my days.  Oh yes, and don’t forget to breathe!

Staying Focused on the Positive in Tough Times

Winding Road Ahead

 

 

 

Think about it. . .

 

When in your life have you felt the most:

Confident        Energized         Creative          Challenged               Focused               

Positive           In Control        Motivated        Productive               Interested

Forward Thinking   ?????

 

 

When in your life have you felt the most:

Overwhelmed            Hopeless             Depleted                Negative             Scattered

Disinterested              Stuck                  Helpless                 Bored                 Unmotivated

Non-productive    ?????

 

How can you create more of the first set of feelings even when things are not as you had planned?  If we focus on and practice the kinds of things that bring the positive feelings, do we not create more of those good feelings?

 

When we focus on our strengths, and take action to use them, do we not expand those strengths and the positive feelings that go along with them?

 

 A Precious Human Life by the Dalai Lama is something I will read over and paste up at work to remind myself to focus on the life I have and all the wonderful opportunites I have each day to enjoy it.

 

Today I am fortunate to have woken up.
I am alive; I have a precious human life.
I am not going to waste it.
 
I am going to use all my energies to develop myself,
To expand my heart out to others,
To achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings.
 
I am going to have kind thoughts towards others.
I am not going to get angry,
Or think badly about others.
I am going to benefit others as much as I can.

                                  —Dalai Lama

 Gail Brokaw

http://www.embracethepossibility.org/Newsletters.html

 

 

 

 

 

Peace

Here are some wonderful ways to celebrate and encourage peace in our lives.

May 2009 bring more Peace, Joy, and Understanding into all our lives.

Peace symbol created by Gerald Holtom 1958

iPeace Day – 31 December 2008
Sharing Peace – Making A Difference
http://www.ipeace.me

Think in the positive = create peacefulness
Dedicate yourself to sharing your peace – ‘infect’ peace around you.
Write a poem for peace
Make a video. Post a video
Organize a concert for peace
Surprise others with random acts of kindness
Play music in the streets for peace
Plant a tree
Blog or write an article
Speak softly, breathe deeply, observe everything
Organize a gathering
Light a candle
Teach peace
Organize iPeace Day events in your campus
Meditate
Run for Peace. Walk for peace.
Slow down and appreciate little moments.
Organize a game or a match for peace (any sport)
Have peace dinner with friends (or with strangers)
Do anything that will express peace – for you.
Live without fear
Get kids involved
Donate to an organization dedicated to creating equality, peace, knowledge, understanding, and sharing.

What can you think of doing? 

Expand Peace

Gail Brokaw, MA, CC

http://www.embracethepossibility.org

Transition – Sacred Life Sunday

Politically, economically, spiritually and personally, this seems to be a huge time of transition and transformation for many of us.  The Celts symbol of the hare, above, represents transformation and adaptation.   That is happening now.  The new leadership of our country is waiting in the wings to begin a time of difficult decisions, transitions and just plain hard work to get this country back on track again.  We will all be affected and we will be asked to make changes in our lives for the good of our country and the planet.  It seems to be a transition that we must make.   I embrace the transformation and I look forward to positive changes that will create a better world for all of us.

If you are interested in other celtic symbols check out this site.  http://www.thirdcoastrs.com/celtic_symbol_custom_stamps.htm

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

Sacred Life Sunday – Places that Scare you

There are plenty of things that could scare me these days.  Certain politicians use fear as a way to hold people to what is familiar and perceived as safe.  They know the power of fear and it’s ability to control people’s actions.  This is the month of Halloween (scary monsters) and politics (scary ideas) and economics (scary thoughts of the future).   Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  He also said, “Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”  That may be easier to say if you have enough to live on, but I personally want to keep focused on ways to continually grow emotionally and mentally to enable myself to continue the creative effort of living a joyful and satisfying life, no matter how much money I have or don’t have.  I know it’s a challenge.

I’ve been reading The Places that Scare you; A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times, by Pema Chodron.  She reminds us that Buddha taught three principal characteristics of human existence: impermanence, egolessness, and suffering or dissatisfaction.  Recognizing that these are inescapable parts of life will help us relax with things as they are. 

1. Life, people and situations are unpredictable,
2. life does have it’s ups and downs, and
3. everybody knows the pain of getting what they don’t want. 
It’s just life.  We increase our suffering when we try to make the impermanent, permanent. 

Let’s don’t bow to the pressures of the day that shout at us to be afraid of change.  Change is life. 
The question is how do we take that change, learn from it and feel stronger because of it?  
How can we become creative in the midst of that change? 
How can we create something positive from the scary details of the day?  

I will try accepting things I cannot change and focus on the things that I can do to make my world a more positive place to be.  That’s really all I can do.  

I love this quote.  “Everyone is an explorer.  How could you possibly live your life looking at a door and not open it?” –Robert D Ballard   So go ahead, feel the fear and do it anyway;  accept what is, take a chance, and make a change.           

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

Sacred Life Sunday – Patience

Chinese symbol for Patience

 

 

 

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’  Then a voice says to me.  ‘This is going to take more than one night.’ ” –Charlie Brown

Patience has been eluding me lately.  Try as I may, the anxiety and frustration of some days lead me to a place I’m not feeling good about.  So I guess I need to be more patient with myself in finding patience with the world around me. 

 As James and Constance Messina say in their writing about patience, “Wake up to the realities of life around you.  Everyone with whom you come in contact is busy working through their own struggles, weaknesses, setbacks, relapses, crises, and obstacles to their personal growth and recovery.  All of us are on the path to personal growth.  Their is no one exempt from this journey.  It takes a lifetime to complete.“

Note to self:

This week I will focus on breathing in relaxation, breathing out tension and frustration.  I will breathe in tolerance and understanding and breathe out anger and impatience.

This week I will take one day at a time and make each day more positive by finding at least five things each day which can bring peace, joy and humor into my life.

This week I will look for solutions, remind myself to accept what is, and work toward the goals I have set for myself which always makes me feel more positive and hopeful.  Refocus will be my word for the week.

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”
  - Maya Angelou

“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. “
  - Unknown

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstance, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or break a company…a church…a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.  I am convinced that life is 10%  what happened to me and 90% of how I react to it.  And so it is with you…we are in charge of our Attitudes.”  –Charles R Swindoll

This is my goal for the week. 

Gail Brokaw
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

Celtic Cross and Life Balance- Sacred Life Sunday

Island of Iona, Scotland

 

Iona is a beautiful, small speck of an Island off the western coast of Scotland 3 miles long and 1 mile wide with 2000 acres in total area. http://www.isle-of-iona.com/  This is where Joan Anderson traveled to connect with the spirit and her heritage.  While there, she visits an artist in his studio.  He is hand carving Celtic Crosses.  She asks him about the significance of the circle in the center of all the Celtic Crosses.  He responds that the circle is where all opposites come together.  It is a stabilizing element for the cross.  He further explains that another thought some have is that the circle “represents mother – the woman – who holds it all together.”  I, like Joan, am interested in crosses, not for their religious significance but for the beauty of the art that can be a representation of crossroads.  Haven’t we all been at a crossroad at least a few times in our lives?  We have had times to make choices, set a new direction or take advantage of a new opportunity.  I see the circle in the cross as a representation of something that holds our life together as we take different directions and new paths.  The circle not only holds together, but brings together different elements in our life.  It’s a powerful symbol.

For me, the four main directions that need connecting and balancing are relationships (family and friends), work, spirit and creativity.  I need to remain aware of each point in my cross (life) and find time to connect each to the other and continue to maintain the balance that feels good to me. 

What is the crossroad you are facing right now?  What helps you hold the major points of your life together? 

Gail Brokaw, MA, CC
http://www.embracethepossibility.org
lifecoach@embracethepossibility.org
You CAN make the change you want in your life!

 

Independent Woman – Sacred Life Sunday

Years ago I sat in my therapist’s office and said “I want to be independent; I just don’t want to do it alone.”  The minute it came out of my mouth we both laughed and I saw him write it in his notebook.  Years later at a talk he was giving regarding relationships, he used that quote which gave the audience a chuckle. 

I was just leaving a long-term marriage and was headed out on my own with two daughters who were not particularly happy with me for making this huge and unwelcome change to their lives.  I didn’t know exactly where I was headed except toward independence.  I needed to know I could take care of myself first, and then to be open to a relationship that would feel more equal and alive.  “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” That quote of Anais Nin’s really said it all for me at that time.  I’d never lived alone or alone with children, except when my husband had been stationed on a ship for several weeks at a time.  I had little confidence that I could support myself and my daughters, but the fear of staying in an unhealthy relationship was greater than the fear of moving towards the unknown but more independent life.   We three girls went through some very rough times but I feel very fortunate to have two beautiful successful daughters to share life with as adults now.

Second Journey -   I want to be independent; I just don’t want to do it alone.  I’m at a different stage of my life, in a committed loving relationship and looking toward retirement in a few years.  I want to remain independent, vibrant, life loving and satisfied with what I’m doing with my life.  This time in my life is an opportunity to look at where I’ve been, what I’m doing now, and how I want to fashion my future so that I can continue to grow, change and appreciate life.  I have to admit that I’m realizing that my reaction to talking about positive change and adjusting to real change are not always met with the same frame of mind or open arms.  But I am determined not to be a dinosaur and I want to keep challenging myself to keep growing and taking chances.  Independent doesn’t mean alone, it means being able to make decisions, be happy with myself but also to be interdependent with others for support, friendships, and challenges.  So, see, I can be independent and yet not do it alone. 

Gail Brokaw, MA, CC
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

You CAN create the change you want in your life!